Lately, I’ve been in a real burst of inspiration, creativity, and expansion. I’ve known 2022 was a year for important growth— both professionally and personally. I intentionally followed this flow of energy, seeking out a variety of motivational content. I searched YouTube for videos on overcoming fear. I listened to books on Audible like Believe It by Jaime Kern Lima (she’s amazing!) and The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey (a throwback classic).

I even did a virtual 4-day Tony Robbins conference which was like someone injecting jet fuel through my veins. This blast of confidence boosting material has resulted in a big epiphany that I’m excited to share.

Self-doubt is a choice.

Last Thursday, my sister‘s dog, Dakota, passed away. On Friday, my own dog got such a bad case of food poisoning that I spent many days fully focused on him and unable to move through my own grief process around Dakota. Thankfully, my dog is now on the mend, which also meant that the grief over the loss of Dakota came back in its full expression during my morning meditation. The tears flowed, and I felt my love and my loss for this very special dog.

This morning, my husband told me he had a vivid and intense dream that took him directly back to the greatest trauma from his past. He is in a phase of deep transformation and has been asking the universe to crack him open so that he can heal and discover his true self at a deeper level.

Happy Winter Solstice! I wish you all joy and peace this holiday season. Honoring the winter solstice today is a beautiful way to feel interconnected with Mother Nature and her everlasting cycles of change. As we move into the cold winter, we can trust that spring will come again. As I walked with my dog this morning, I felt comfort and a sense of being lovingly held within the reliability of these cycles of nature's seasons.

I returned one week ago from an eight day vacation in the Puerto Vallarta, Mexico area with my husband. My social media post from Day 2 of the trip shows the joy, excitement, and beauty that you hope for on a vacation. What it did not show was that I got some of the worst food poisoning of my life on Day 3. I spent a day completely in bed, wrecked with body pain and bathroom adventures. I was sick for the rest of the trip, mostly water fasting because my body could not handle food and certainly could not handle any more unknown Mexican bacteria.

Honestly, I’m already shaking my head and laughing about this. How ridiculous to plan a sexy, fun vacation with your partner and instead get A LOT of quality time with the porcelain throne.

Last night I had a dream that I was on a train with my partner and my mom. A facilitator showed up to lead some kind of healing ceremony and asked us to take our shoes off. Suddenly, the train stopped at our destination. My partner and mother exited the train while I raced to get my shoes back on. I did not make it in time before the train pulled out of the station, and I was so frustrated! I got off at the next stop with a few others who had also had the same problem. Someone yelled, “The train we need is already here! Run!” So now I’m running with all my stuff towards the train that goes back in the direction from where we came. I did not make it again. Ugh!! LOL.

The feelings, frustrations, and ‘almosts’ of this dream parallel what many of us are navigating in our lives. Do you feel like circumstances in the world are changing so quickly that you are often running to catch up? Or that our intent to pause and be in the moment might mean that we are missing something else that is happening externally? Or perhaps, it’s simply the symbolism of feeling like the world is often at a polarity— literally going in opposite directions?

One of my clients is about to do something really difficult that she has been preparing for years to do. I can see she is ready. Beyond ready, in fact. However, she is still feeling a lot of fear, trepidation, and self doubt. I told her that she needed to keep repeating over and over again to herself— “I can do this.” “Write it on your arm if you need to!,” I offered.

Many people in the world are going through a period of fear. Some are afraid of getting covid, while others are afraid of losing their freedom to mandates. As a collective, we are going through a period of self-doubt. Can we get through this? How do we get through this? What will we look like on the other side?

Our world is in unprecedented times of uncertainty. COVID-19 has thrust the globe into a pandemic which we simply do not know how to grapple with. There are so many novel elements that we do not have experience with— the virus… the vaccine… the best treatment approach instead of, or in addition to, the vaccine… the long term effects of all elements… the best political approach… the economic effects… and more.

Many people feel confused. Individuals are making their own risk assessment and determining how to move forward for themselves and their families.

What do I know for certain? I know that uncertainty is uncomfortable. The human mind is wired to want to know. Humans feel safe when they have a clear sense of knowing what is happening and what is the best way to move forward.

A client yesterday said to me, “I’m getting a lot better at changing the channel.” She wasn’t talking about television. She was sharing her experience of feeling progress towards being able to shift the story of what she was telling herself. She knows how to tell herself the narrative that she should have a partner. Or she should have more exciting weekend plans. Or she should have a whole community of friends available to her at a moment’s notice.

These are old stories, of course. Stories many of us carry that were generated by programming from society, parents, and external factors. Stories that seem true because we do want a partner, exciting weekend plans, and a supportive community.

However, it’s so vital to learn to recognize the energetic difference between retelling old narratives of the person we think we should be, versus feeling the inspiration and faith to create what we want in the world. The former runs a sense of ongoing shame and the feeling that we are failing somehow at our own life. The latter gives us energy and drive to remain engaged with our personal creative power.

I have had a very busy winter and spring. I’m happy to share that I’m on the verge of completing a Master’s degree in Spiritual Philosophy from SPICA - Way of Light University of Divinity. At the moment, I’m probably equally happy that I get a full summer break before continuing on to the doctoral portion of the program.

We all have goals and desires for our lives. It’s so vital that we feel our own creative expression, offering, and accomplishment. We are here on Earth to live! We want to learn, develop, and serve. All of this deserves encouragement and honoring. In fact, many people need much more of this— a sense of purpose in their lives and an alignment with the authentic expression of their soul.

However, in this moment, I’m also here to remind all of us of the importance of balancing being with doing. Even when that doing feels like it is making the world a better place or along the path of our personal and spiritual development.