A couple of weeks ago, I made the decision to remove the word “coach” from my official title. This was a big decision for me that I’ve been contemplating for months. The coaching industry is a fabulous body of work that does so much to assist people toward their full potential. It’s amazing! However, as a generality, it also began to annoy the crap out of me.
Why?
The typical lines in the coaching world are that you can move from some place of pain (I can’t find my partner! I can’t find a career I love!) to a place of pleasure (I found my ideal partner! I’m working in my dream career!).
Who doesn’t want that? We all want the relationship where we feel unconditionally loved and the career where we feel uniquely valued. I want these things. You want these things. It’s a normal part of the human experience.
My challenge is that we can so easily use those wants to remain on a hamster wheel of needing to change something in our lives or ourselves in order to feel fulfilled.
What if we don’t attract our dream romance? What if health difficulties are still here? What if we don’t manifest the ideal life?
It seems like we have a few options, and I want to be clear that none of them are wrong.
- We can work harder and push ourselves more to try to create the life we want.
- We can begin a journey of personal development and improve ourselves as the agent of change for our daily life.
- We can practice surrender externally while internally still striving towards change and holding onto hope that the ideal life will arise.
- We can stop. Radically. We can stop the pushing and striving and holding out hope for the ideal scenario, and instead, truly and fully open to what is already here.
I feel that all the options above are natural steps along the path of being human. I also don’t think they are linear. There are times that life needs us to push and work hard and there are other times where we need to do some serious truth telling and get professional help through some of our personal issues.
However, there’s also a point when it’s time to stop. We’ve already spent a lifetime (or many lifetimes) holding onto the hope that relative life in the 3D can give us the inner peace and fulfillment we desire.
The opportunity now is to let go of the fairy tale. Gangaji would say it’s about growing up. How can we accept that our human lives are lived through duality— meaning that suffering will always be a part of life and no amount of striving will change that.
The opportunity is to discover the peace that can arise in this moment— right now— when we truly let go.
Simply stop. Look around. Open your heart and energy centers. What’s already here? It’s you. You are the presence, the love, and the peace that your soul longs for.
So, I’m ditching the coaching model of taking people from a painful life to a pleasurable life. Instead, I’m focusing on how to guide you to discover what’s already here and who you truly are— regardless of how your daily life is showing up.
Might this result in change to your external life? Absolutely! However, the change comes from a place of allowing rather than grasping.
I’ll call myself an “Emotional and Spiritual Guide,” but you and I will both know that who we truly are goes beyond any title or any role. We are here to show up simply as we are, and that’s already enough.
Love, Kelley