Lately, I’ve been in a real burst of inspiration, creativity, and expansion. I’ve known 2022 was a year for important growth— both professionally and personally. I intentionally followed this flow of energy, seeking out a variety of motivational content. I searched YouTube for videos on overcoming fear. I listened to books on Audible like Believe It by Jaime Kern Lima (she’s amazing!) and The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey (a throwback classic).
I even did a virtual 4-day Tony Robbins conference which was like someone injecting jet fuel through my veins. This blast of confidence boosting material has resulted in a big epiphany that I’m excited to share.
Self-doubt is a choice.
Years ago, I had life changing openings around self-hatred and shame. I finally realized that I had been running these damaging energies through my body, and believing the thoughts that they created.
Self-hatred would say things like…
“If I would stop being such a pig, I’d have the body I want.”
“I’m a mess and everyone can see it. Get your life together.”
“Why am I such a broken, undisciplined person?”
Whew. Yikes. I had to pause after writing those because it is so viscerally painful for me to run those energies through my body now. No wonder I felt so terrible much of the time.
One day, when I was living and meditating in an ashram, I received a vision that changed my life. My Helping Spirits showed me that my belief that self-criticism motivated growth was wrong. They showed me, in detail, that LOVE is the most nourishing and effective way to grow.
I realized that all sustainable and long lasting healthy change comes through the gateway of self-love.
The vision was so clear and powerful that I put it into practice immediately. It took time for me to retrain my mind to choose loving thoughts. It took even more time to become truly somatically aware of what shame felt like in my body so that I could interrupt the flow of energy before it became conscious thoughts.
I’m very happy to share my growth path was successful. I do not run shame and self-hatred like I used to. When I notice them (because of course I’m human), I understand they are not the truth and gently shift towards a flow of compassion.
I know that there is nothing I need to do to earn love. I choose love because it is the true expression of who I really am. I AM love. Thus, in expressing my true nature as love, I feel divine alignment with my soul.
Thankfully, this also makes me feel so much better!!! There’s more joy, self-forgiveness, compassion for others, and heartfelt connection.
So guess what I’ve been realizing in the past weeks?? Self-doubt follows the same pattern. The same!!
You cannot do anything to earn your belief in yourself. We like to think, “Well, I need to push and push myself and then once I start having success, I’ll feel more confident.”
WRONG. This is literally backwards. Lol.
As long as you are mired in self-doubt, you are running energies through your body that lead to thoughts and actions which undermine your ability to create powerful self-expression.
The way through is instead to change your thoughts and emotions first. Believe in yourself!! Feel self-confident! Change your mental narrative to one that is positive and affirming.
You might be thinking, “Kelley, this is not new. I’ve heard this before. It’s not that easy.” Haha, I’m here to tell you it is that easy. You simply didn’t understand how the inner mechanism worked, and you thought you needed to do something to earn all this self-confidence. Most likely, you’ve also been running self-doubt energies unconsciously through your body, meaning you weren’t aware of them enough to even have a choice to stop them.
I always feel so happy when I find changes that are easy. When I feel the ease in my own body, I’m able to transmit and model that ease for others. This truly is not one that you need to spend years on. You only need to flip the script.
You don’t do something to earn self-love and confidence. You realize, spiritually, that who you already are is love, power, and creativity. Then, by being that in the world, your actions and life start to shift to reflect that authentic soul expression. YAY!!
Of course, if you need more conversation around this, I’m here. Reach out and we’ll set up a session. I’m wishing every single one of you the wisdom to know who you truly are, so that your life becomes a flow of that same love and creative power.
Blessings,
Kelley