Last Thursday, my sister‘s dog, Dakota, passed away. On Friday, my own dog got such a bad case of food poisoning that I spent many days fully focused on him and unable to move through my own grief process around Dakota. Thankfully, my dog is now on the mend, which also meant that the grief over the loss of Dakota came back in its full expression during my morning meditation. The tears flowed, and I felt my love and my loss for this very special dog.
Dakota was and is a wild spirit. My sister rescued him and felt an immediate bond with his adventurous nature. He was wise, present, and independent. Dakota quickly became an integral part of our family. I lived with my sister for a while when Dakota was younger and created a very strong bond with him (as well as his dear sister, Shadow). I took the two dogs on adventures and always looked forward to seeing them whenever I would go home in Dakota’s later years.
The grief my family has felt in losing Dakota has been acute. Why is it that we do not get to keep the ones that we love forever? Why is it that the human experience inevitably involves loss? It’s a mysterious and mystical part of being alive. Spiritually, we know that we are never separate. We know that our loved ones are always a part of us. We know that we will see our pets and favorite people again when we drop the physical body and cross over to the other side.
Yet, our human, 3D reality also means that we must experience what it is to lose. To lose a person we love… an animal we love… a home we love… a life we love. Being human and living with an open heart means that we must experience grief. Sometimes grief comes to us through the death of those we love, but it also comes to us through any kind of ending. A friendship becoming more distant, a romantic break-up, a phase change in our life, and other transitions of all kinds.
Gangaji, one of my spiritual teachers, once said that we have an opportunity when we are here on Earth to intentionally choose to live with an open heart. Living with this open heart means that we will love and we will hurt… love and hurt… love and hurt… love and hurt.
This teaching always remained powerfully with me because it gave me a deep permission to accept that grief is a part of life. We aren’t doing anything ‘wrong’ when we feel grief. On the contrary, grief is often a sign that we are living and loving fully with an open heart.
The alternative to experiencing grief is to shut down our heart— to live in a closed off manner that doesn’t allow the vulnerability of creating true connection.
My friends, I can tell you that is no way to live. While we are here, we must agree to do it all the way. We must choose to open, love, connect, and lose. We must know that under any grief we experience is the choice we have made to love with all that we are.
It is a very brave choice. And YOU are brave.
Live with all you are. Love with all you are. Trust that the Oneness of Spirit is ultimately carrying us all home together. And in the mean time, I know that Dakota is very happy over the rainbow bridge— running and playing with his sister and having all the adventures and freedom of which he ever dreamed.
In honor of Dakota,
Kelley Neumann
